


Heal Me In All The Ways I'm Broken

by peachbbh



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Heavy Angst, M/M, Romance, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-10-31 12:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17849660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachbbh/pseuds/peachbbh
Summary: Baekhyun was left broken beyond repair. Every night he would try to escape the world but every morning he would wake up healed. And on his pillow, there was always a note from his healer.





	Heal Me In All The Ways I'm Broken

**Author's Note:**

> I was interested in this prompt when I first picked it but it was very difficult to write. I just didn't know what angle to take. There were so many possibilities of how I wanted to start. In the end, I don't completely love it but I don't hate it either. It touched on darker content than what I'm used to so I hope I did your prompt justice. If it's not great I'm sorry. Thank you to the mods for helping me through this and always giving me the time I need. You guys are awesome! I was inspired by the song Heal Me by Lady Gaga, so I encourage you guy to give that a listen.  
> TW// This story does contain things that can be triggering such as abuse, self-harm, and blood. Please read with caution.

Baekhyun sat at his window in his white room staring into the forest. The rain trickled down lightly against the glass. He placed his palm against the glass to feel the coolness. There was a knock at Baekhyun's door. The man ignored it as the nurse walked in to change his sheets. The fresh blood from last night's escape stained it much more than the last time. Baekhyun looked down at the bandages on his arm. The nursed started speaking to him but Baekhyun zoned her out. He couldn't hear her at all or more like refused to hear her. Baekhyun laid his head on the glass and closed his eyes. His favorite nurse came into the room and put his pills on his desk. She reached out to touch him but stopped herself. If it's one thing she has learned in all 5 years of working here, Baekhyun didn't like touching. In fact, the 27-year-old didn't like any of his senses. Hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, and tasting, were things he stopped enjoying a long time ago. His world was black and white now but it's always been colorless. The nurse stood next to him watching the rain. Baekhyun turned and finally acknowledged her.

"Baek, today is my last day here. You will get a new nurse tomorrow. I'm being transferred. I'm sorry," She said wiping her tears. Baekhyun stared at her and turned back to the window. She wanted to hug him. She would do anything to hear his laugh or voice again. Her and Baekhyun used to be next door neighbors. She always chased after him. He was 4 years older than her but she didn't care. Yeri sighed and turned to leave. She gave one last look at Baekhyun and closed the door. Baekhyun got down from the window and swallowed his pills. He climbed back onto the window sill and stared into the forest. Baekhyun remained there all day. Yeri came in one last time to say goodbye. 

"Please be strong, Baekhyun. This isn't your fault. I tried now the rest is up to you. Take care of yourself. Things will get better but you have to hang on. Find your way back, Baekhyun," 

"Yeri, Let's go." The guard said pulling her out and slamming the door. Baekhyun finally turned to look at the door. The truth was that he gave up years ago. Byun Baekhyun was gone. There was no fight left. All of his senses were sealed off the day he met his destroyer. The man died and took everything from Baekhyun. Baekhyun turned back to the window. Outside was pitch black now. The sun went down a long time ago. It wasn't like he could enjoy the sunset. When the guard came to check on him he found Baekhyun still sitting there. Baekhyun knew that was the last round so he climbed down and ripped the bandages off. Baekhyun began scratching and reopening the horizontal cuts he made last night. He didn't cry or make a sound. He sat with his back against his bed and watched the deep red fall down his arms. Baekhyun closed his eyes. Pain is what he deserved and pain is what he will get. When he opened his eyes again, his destroyer was standing in front of him. Baekhyun scrambled under the bed and closed his eyes. He wanted to scream but his voice was stolen so very long ago. Baekhyun stayed under the bed in a fetal position all night.

Yixing followed behind the guard as they made their way to the 4th floor. This was his first day here and he was meeting his assigned inmate. 

"Goodluck. This one is a real nutjob," The man said unlocking the door. Baekhyun was sitting on his window sill staring into the forest. Yixing had read over his file earlier.

"Baekhyun, age 25. He's been in here for 5 years now for murder." Yixing said aloud. Baekhyun turned his head. There was something about Yixing's voice that pulled the man's attention. The guard closed the door behind him. Yixing took a seat.

"Baekhyun my name is Zhang Yixing. I'm your new nurse. I'll be here every night for you." Yixing said. Baekhyun stared at him without blinking. Yixing chuckled. He started reading his file again.

"It says here that you murdered your husband. What happened that night?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun blinked. He got off the window sill and sat in front of Yixing. Yixing looked over his soft features. Yixing reached down to touch the scar on his face but Baekhyun flinched away. Yixing rested his hand on his lap. He started reading over Baekhyun's file. How could such a bright person become a shell? Yixing looked down at the bandages on his arms. 

"Why do you keep hurting yourself?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun only blinked. Yixing sighed. He knew he wasn't going to get anywhere on the first day. He looked down at the photo of Baekhyun from years before. He had chubby cheeks and his eyes were so bright. Yixing's heart softened. 

"What happened to you, Baekhyun?" He said to himself. The door opened to a man bringing in lunch. 

"You're wasting your time on this psycho. He doesn't talk." The man said dropping the tray on the floor. Baekhyun moved away back to the window. This time he sat on the floor.

"Eat!" The man shouted. 

"Hey, Don't shout at him. He's already afraid of you. What's your problem?" Yixing asked standing in between them.

"He killed someone!" Jongdae shouted. Yixing turned around to see Baekhyun whimpering in the corner.

"Just get out," Yixing said. Jongdae rolled his eyes and stormed out. Baekhyun was covering his head and shaking.

"It's okay Baekhyun. Eat," Yixing said picking up his tray. Baekhyun stayed in that position. Yixing left the room and went to find Jongdae. He found him with some guards.

"Can I talk to you?" Yixing asked pulling him away. Jongdae rolled his eyes but followed Yixing. He leaned against the wall.

"You won't need to bring Baekhyun his dinner. I will do it. You're too aggressive with him."

"He is a fucking killer are you kidding me?" Jongdae said.

"He is a human being. He should be treated like one." Yixing replied.

"He killed one of my good friends. That piece of shit gets what he deserves." Jongdae said pushing Yixing and leaving. Baekhyun finished his food and climbed in bed. He waited for the night to fall. Baekhyun closed his eyes and hid under his blanket. He wanted to think only of the soft voice from earlier. But the voice of his destroyer quickly flooded all his senses. Baekhyun started scratching at his wounds again. He bled and bled until he passed out. The next morning when Baekhyun woke up, his wounds were healed. On his pillow was a small piece of paper. It had a yellow smiley face, nothing more nothing less. Baekhyun searched all around the room. He didn't know what he was looking for. How could this have happened? The door opened to his morning meds and breakfast. Baekhyun took them and took his position at the window. He sat there waiting for the soft voice nurse. Right on time, Yixing opened the door and took a seat. The note he left for Baekhyun was still on his pillow. 

"How are you feeling this morning?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun turned to him only staring. Yixing stared right back at him with a smile. Baekhyun showed his arms. Yixing got up and looked at them. He turned them left and right and up and down.

"You didn't cut last night?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun stared at him and took his hands away.

"I heard that you used to paint. You went to school for the arts. Right?" Yixing asked. He opened the bag he came in with. Inside was sketchbook and paint and brushes. He placed them on Baekhyun's desk. Baekhyun watched him from the window.

"First I need you to answer my questions-" Yixing stated but Baekhyun shook his head.

"How about one question today and every other day we add on?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun looked back out the window.

"First question. What's your favorite color?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun turned to him. The room was quiet as they stared at each other. Baekhyun pointed to Yixing's notepad. Yixing handed it to him with his pen. Yixing watched Baekhyun write down something. He turned the notepad.

"Black," Yixing read out loud. Baekhyun nodded.

"My favorite color is purple," Yixing said. Baekhyun nodded and turned away. Yixing took his pen and notepad. Yixing sat in the room watching Baekhyun closely. Once dinner arrived, Yixing went to go get it. Baekhyun sat on the bed as Yixing placed it down. Baekhyun took small bites out of his sandwich. Yixing sat down waiting for him to finish. The door opened to Jongdae.

"He needs to take his medicine,"

"What are you guys prescribing him?"

"You're his nurse. You figure it out. Open your hand," Jongdae said. Baekhyun looked at Yixing. Yixing took the pills from Jongdae. Jongdae grabbed the tray and stormed out. Yixing handed the pills to Baekhyun. They sat there quietly watching the sun go down. Yixing tucked Baekhyun into bed and left the room. He went down to the nurse's station to fill out paperwork. 

"Aren't you scared of your patient?" Joohyun asked looking at Yixing.

"Why would I be?"

"He killed his husband. He shot him right in the face." She replied. 

"I heard he stabbed him 400 times," Another nurse added. Yixing rolled his eyes. There were many rumors about patient 04. Yixing ignored them and clocked out. Once lights were out he waited an hour before going back into Baekhyun's room. Baekhyun's sheets were stained red already. Yixing searched for the item, Baekhyun used to cut himself. Yixing found the fork from dinner. He should've paid attention. Yixing took it. He grabbed Baekhyun's arms and quickly healed them.

"I'm sorry. I should have been there for you. I will make this better. I promise Bobohu. I'm so sorry. I am so sorry," Yixing said kissing Baekhyun's hand. Yixing tucked him in and left the room. This time Yixing left Baekhyun a drawing of a smiley face in black. Baekhyun placed the photo under his pillow. His arms were healed and he couldn't find the fork. He sat at the window watching the rain until Yixing came. Baekhyun turned away from the window to stare at Yixing. He motioned for Yixing to hand him his notepad and pen. Yixing handed it over. Baekhyun started writing. He handed it back to Yixing.

"I'm hungry. They did not bring me breakfast or lunch," Yixing said reading the note. Baekhyun nodded. Yixing put the pen and notepad down and walked out. 

"Why didn't he have breakfast or lunch? You can't treat him like that. What's your problem?"

"He's a criminal. Open your eyes. Screw him," Jongdae said. Yixing stormed off to the kitchen. Junmyeon, a cook was startled by his presence.

"I need a lunch tray now," Yixing said. Junmyeon quickly put together a tray and handed it over. Baekhyun was sitting on the bed waiting for Yixing. Yixing sat down the tray. He watched Baekhyun eat quietly. Yixing forgot all about his pen and notepad. Baekhyun already took the pen because he had plans to use it for tonight. Yixing sat in his chair and started to draw Baekhyun's outline. Baekhyun turned to him and pushed the tray away. He crawled into bed and turned to the wall. Yixing took his tray and left the room. He bumped into some guards who spat nasty words at him. Yixing brushed it off. He wasn't here to fight with mortals. He was here to protect Baekhyun and Baekhyun alone. It was his fault that Baekhyun had lost his way and now Yixing will have to be the one to bring him back to life. So every night after Baekhyun would cut and pass out, Yixing would heal him and leave a note. Baekhyun kept every note in his pillowcase once he woke up. Soon he had a stash of notes. Some were just small drawings of the outside world others were actual notes saying encouraging quotes.

Baekhyun looked down at his healed arms. How was this happening? He searched for the case of the metal pen but found nothing. He had stolen that weeks ago and kept it hidden from his secret healer. This time Baekhyun's notes had words.  "Please Be Kind". Baekhyun placed it into his pillowcase with the rest of the notes. The guards didn't bring him breakfast or lunch once again. Baekhyun sat in the corner of his bed staring at the window. He got up and decide to use the sketchbook and paint Yixing brought him. When Yixing walked into the room, Baekhyun was still painting. Yixing stood behind him watching him get lost in the drawing. It was a painting of two children playing. Yixing took a seat. Baekhyun put his brush down and stared out the window. It stopped raining. 

"Who are the kids?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun ignored him and sat there staring at the picture. He then turned to Yixing and pointed at him.

"Me and?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun pointed to himself. Yixing smiled and moved closer.

"Do you remember me?" Yixing asked reaching out to touch Baekhyun. Baekhyun pulled away and shook his head. He got up to climb on the window sill. Yixing looked down at the picture again.

"We met when we were kids. I was 6 and you were 5. We used to play hide and seek with the girls from down the road. When I turned 10, it was time for me to get my wings. It was my moving up ceremony. I had to train and become a guardian angel. So I left you for a few years. When I finally returned you were 15, I was lucky to have you as my mortal. So I was able to stay with you until you were 18. I disappeared after that without a word. It must have hurt you. The reason I left is that I was arrested. It's forbidden for angels to fall in love with humans. Back then I knew I loved you. I wanted to tell you but they took me before I could. I was in jail a long time so you were put in unfortunate events. That happens when a guardian angel is no longer in their human's life. They fall victim to bad luck. While I was gone, you must have faced a lot of hardships. You ended up here. I don't know what happened but I promise to protect you now. Forever," Yixing said. Baekhyun sat at the window. Yixing walked over and took his hand.

"I promise to stay by your side," Yixing said. Baekhyun didn't remove his hand nor hold Yixing's hand. Yixing let go and sat back down. Baekhyun remembered their childhood together but everything after that was blurry. Yixing knew the higher-ups erased his memories but at least Baekhyun held on to some. Baekhyun got up and took Yixing's notepad and pen. He started writing.

"I want to go home," Yixing read. He bit his lip and looked at Baekhyun.

"I can't do that yet. Just give me more time," Yixing said. Baekhyun crawled into bed and pulled the blanket over his head. Yixing sat there watching him until he fell asleep. At least tonight he wouldn't cut. When Yixing left, Baekhyun found the wood paint brush. He snapped it in half and this time he used the sharp edges to create the similar cuts from his wrists on his thigh. Baekhyun clutched it and raised it over his head ready to stab his thigh but a soft hand grabbed his wrist. Baekhyun stared at the angel in front of him.

"Why do you hurt yourself? I'm here. Baekhyun please stop." Yixing said taking the paintbrush. Baekhyun crawled into bed until his back was against the wall. Standing next to Yixing was his destroyer. Baekhyun pointed and Yixing turned. There was no one standing next to him. He looked back at Baekhyun who was now covering his ears and hiding his face. Yixing climbed on to the bed. He pulled Baekhyun's hands away from his ears. Baekhyun was crying.

"I'm getting you out of here. Right now." Yixing said going to the window. Yixing opened the window and bent the bars. He knew this would get him in trouble with the higher-ups but seeing Baekhyun waste away wasn't something he could stomach. Yixing broke the bars and pushed the window all the way up. He went back to the bed and wrapped Baekhyun in sheets. Yixing pulled Baekhyun onto his back and they climbed out of the window. Baekhyun closed his eyes and let sleep consume him. When he woke up, he was in a motel alone. Baekhyun started to panic. The front door opened to Yixing.

"It's okay," Yixing said emptying the bag on the bed. It was hair dye.

"Is it okay if I dye your hair?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun blinked. He shook his head and then nodded.

"What's that supposed to mean, silly. You can's say no and yes," Yixing said laughing. Baekhyun blinked then nodded. Yixing smiled and went to the bathroom. Baekhyun looked at the boxes. He held up the red one. Yixing returned and took the box.

"You want red?" He asked. This time Baekhyun nodded. The spent the rest of the day dyeing Baekhyun's black hair. Baekhyun stared at himself.

"Do you like it?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun touched it and turned to Yixing. He nodded. Yixing handed Baekhyun a small black notebook.

"Since you won't talk I thought maybe you could use this to write down your thoughts," Yixing said. Baekhyun took it and a pen. He wrote and turned it around for Yixing to read.

"Thank you, Xingja," Yixing read. He smiled. Yixing reached out to touch Baekhyun's face but he jerked away. 

"I'm sorry. You must be hungry. I ordered pizza," Yixing said going to the door. Baekhyun sat on the bed as Yixing brought the pizza over. Baekhyun's mouth started to water. It's been years since he had pizza. At the asylum, in Baekhyun's wing, they were served the same foods every day. He was in the criminal wing so no one cared how they were treated. Yixing handed Baekhyun a slice. He smiled watching the redhead eat. Yixing wiped the sauce off of his mouth.

"Enjoy as many slices as you want," Yixing said. He turned on the TV and Baekhyun's face was on the news. Yixing turned it off.

"We'll have to keep moving. I know a friend that will help us," Yixing said taking off his shirt.

"I'm going to shower. You eat," Yixing said. Baekhyun picked up another slice. He ate quietly. Yixing returned 30 mins later and started eating. Baekhyun was already sleeping. Yixing's phone started ringing so he went to answer it outside.

"Kyungsoo,"

"This is a bad idea. Turning off your radio so you can't be tracked. Are you crazy?" Kyungsoo shouted.

"I found Baekhyun. I can't let anything happen to him again," Yixing said.

"This is insane. Take him back to the hospital." Kyungsoo said.

"If this was the person you loved you would do the same."

"I wouldn't fall in love with a human," Kyungsoo replied.

"Kyungsoo please don't tell. Please. He needs me."

"He killed someone," Kyungsoo whispered.

"He-"

"Are you really going to defend a killer?" Kyungsoo asked. Baekhyun's screaming made Yixing drop his phone. He rushed back into the room to calm him down. Baekhyun was screaming at the top of his lungs. Yixing tried to calm him down but nothing was working. Finally, Yixing had to put him to sleep himself. He touched his temple and the man's body became limp. There was knocking at the door. Yixing stood up and walked over.

"What the Hell is going on?" The man asked trying to look inside.

"Sorry. My friend had a nightmare. It won't happen again," Yixing said picking up his phone. The old man shook his head and went back to his room. Yixing locked the door. He sat on the bed watching Baekhyun sleep. Yixing could easily find out about Baekhyun's past but he wanted to hear Baekhyun. The voice that Yixing kept going while he was locked away. He held on to the chance that they would be reunited. Yixing remembered how Baekhyun would sing him to sleep during thunderstorms. Baekhyun's sweet honey voice always making things seem calm. The next morning they had breakfast at a diner. Baekhyun wrote in his notebook and passed it to Yixing.

"The restroom is down there," Yixing said pointing. Baekhyun climbed out and went to the bathroom. They should be safe. Baekhyun had a cap on and his hair was a different color. Yixing erased himself from the staff's memories so no one should be looking for him. When Baekhyun came back, he sat down and ate quietly. For the next couple of weeks, the pair traveled from motel to motel. Baekhyun's nightmares became a reoccurring event. Yixing was constantly putting him to sleep. One night Yixing finally managed to ask Baekhyun. Baekhyun hesitated but wrote something down.

"Kim Minseok," Yixing read out loud.

"Who is this?" He asked. Baekhyun bit his lip. Yixing held his hands.

"He was my husband," Baekhyun whispered. Yixing took a deep breath. Baekhyun's voice was music to his ears.

"Is he in your nightmares?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun nodded.

"What happened that night?" Yixing asked. Baekhyun stared at the wall.

"I killed him because he was going to kill me," Baekhyun whispered. Yixing's heart broke. He pulled Baekhyun into a hug. This time Baekhyun didn't pull back. He let the hug happen.

"I didn't mean to make him upset that night. I was good all day. I even made dinner early just so he wouldn't be upset. But Chanyeol came over to visit me and I stayed out later than I should have. Minseok got upset. He got so upset. He kept hitting me. Over and over and over again. I couldn't see anymore. I thought I was going to die in the kitchen. When he finally got tired of hitting me with his hands, he grabbed a spatula and started hitting me. So I ran. I ran to the bedroom. He said he was going to kill me so I grabbed his gun. I hid in the bathroom closet as he broke down the door. When he opened it, I pulled the trigger. I just wanted him to stop hitting me," Baekhyun cried. Yixing held him.

"Baekhyun you were protecting yourself."

"I called the police and they helped cover up the abuse and told me to say I killed him. I was scared. I didn't have anyone. I only had Minseok. My parents disowned me after they found out about my sexuality. Minseok was the only person to understand me. So I stayed with him. I stayed through the abuse until I didn't know who I was anymore. And now I can't stop seeing Minseok. He's everywhere. Even from his grave, he is hurting me. But he's right. I deserve everything that happens to me." Baekhyun cried.

"Baekhyun, he's not right. Look at me," Yixing said pulling his face up.

"He-"

"He was not right. He is dead now. He can't hurt you. You're the only one hurting you. What you see is just in your head. I'm not sure what they've done to you in the hospital but I can-I can fix it. If you let me," Yixing said. Baekhyun moved away from Yixing. Baekhyun moved to the other side of the bed. He didn't say another word for the rest of the night. Yixing thought they made progress but Baekhyun shut down again. They traveled to another town that was deep in the countryside. Yixing rented a small house. This could hide them for a couple of weeks. Baekhyun went straight to his room and didn't come out. Yixing decided to go into town and shop for groceries. Yixing opened the front door with bags. He dropped them and ran off upstairs. The smell of blood was strong. Yixing knew he shouldn't have left Baekhyun. Yixing pounded on the door.

"Baekhyun! Please Please!" Yixing cried. He kicked the door down. Baekhyun was on the floor. Both of his wrists had been slit vertically. Yixing picked Baekhyun's body up. There was blood everywhere. Yixing started healing his wrists as fast as he could. 

"Baekhyun stay with me," Yixing said after he had one arm done. He healed the next one. Yixing curled Baekhyun's body to his chest. He couldn't stop crying.

"Don't take him away from me. Not again. Please don't take him away," Yixing cried rocking Baekhyun. He stood up and placed Baekhyun in bed. Yixing started scrubbing the blood out of the carpets. He threw away the blade Baekhyun had used to cut himself. Yixing sat at the edge of the bed waiting for Baekhyun to wake. Hoping for Baekhyun to wake. Yixing didn't leave his side all night. Baekhyun sat up. He looked down at his arms. No scars, no cuts, and no blood. Baekhyun pushed Yixing off the bed.

"Baekhyun," Yixing said shocked as he jumped down and started hitting him. Yixing laid there letting Baekhyun take out his frustrations. He finally sat up and grabbed Baekhyun. Yixing's lip was bleeding.

"Just let me go! Please," Baekhyun cried. Yixing just held him until he stopped crying.

"Baekhyun. It's going to be okay. I promise," Yixing said holding him. Baekhyun stopped moving. He didn't fight Yixing off. His body went limp and soon sleep consumed him. Yixing put him back to bed and went to make dinner. Baekhyun came down an hour later. He sat quietly while Yixing finished fixing his plate. Baekhyun stared at the food in front of him. He had no appetite. Yixing sat next to him and took his hand.

"We can stay here for a while. It's a quiet town. No one will look for you here," Yixing said rubbing his cheek. He picked up some rice on the fork and moved it toward Baekhyun's mouth. Baekhyun didn't open up. Yixing sighed and went to clean up the kitchen. Baekhyun looked at the plate. He got up and went to sit at the window facing the backyard. Trees and grass were the only scenery. Yixing sighed. For the last 5 years, Baekhyun was confined to a room and the window only showed trees and grass. Yixing sat with him. Baekhyun laid his head on the glass and closed his eyes. Yixing brushed his hair out of his face. 

"I can take those memories away. We can go back to happy times. I just need to you say the words and I will make all of it go away." Yixing said kissing his head. For the next couple of days, Yixing avoided him. Baekhyun didn't leave his room and it felt like they were back at the hospital. Yixing started leaving him notes before he left in the morning. When Baekhyun woke up, he would read them and put them under his pillow before going back to sleep. One afternoon, Yixing came home to find Baekhyun eating. He stood at the doorway watching him. Baekhyun finished his plate.

"I remembered how much you liked flowers. If you want you can come outside and watch me start the garden," Yixing said. Baekhyun ignored him and went to his room. From his window in his room, Baekhyun watched Yixing work every day. Yixing was shocked to see Baekhyun seeing outside one day. He gave him a smile and finished the next row. The next day, Baekhyun was holding the seeds while Yixing planted them. Yixing watched Baekhyun water the seeds as he sat down under the shade. Baekhyun stood up and wiped his forehead.

"Come get some water," Yixing called over. Baekhyun hurried over and took a seat. He reached out to grab a glass and Yixing caught a glimpse of fresh cuts on his wrists. Yixing grabbed his hand and turned it over. He rolled up his sleeves and sighed. Baekhyun pulled his arm back.

"You don't need to hurt yourself. You can-You can hurt me," Yixing said. Baekhyun stared at him. He poured himself a glass of water and sat down. 

"I don't want you to suffer anymore. Please use me for your pain," Yixing said. Baekhyun's eyes remained on the house. That night after both of them was showered, Baekhyun crawled onto Yixing's lap. He rolled up his sleeve. Yixing rubbed Baekhyun's cheek.

"It's okay," Yixing said. Baekhyun bent down and kissed Yixing's wrists.

"Take it away. Please make the pain stop. Heal me in all the ways I'm broken." Baekhyun whispered. Yixing pulled his face up and kissed his soft lips. Tears were falling down his face. Yixing placed his hands on Baekhyun's temple. He calmed his lover down. Yixing deepened the kiss and laid Baekhyun on the bed. Baekhyun's quiet sniffles filled the room as Yixing kissed down his body. He came back up to kiss his lips. Baekhyun felt his body turn warm and suddenly it was cool. It felt like his body was getting rid of all the toxins. His eyes felt heavy with each kiss Yixing gave him. He took one last look at Yixing. This time large golden wings sprouted out of his back. Baekhyun took one last breath before losing consciousness. 

"Do you think we can get a puppy?" Baekhyun asked flipping through the channels on the television. Baekhyun poked Yixing's cheek.

"Wake up," He said sitting up. Yixing chuckled and held Baekhyun's hips. Baekhyun bent down to kiss him. It was a hot August afternoon and the two had finished painting the dining room a few hours ago. It had been three months since Yixing took the bad memories away. Since that day, Baekhyun has been able to breathe. Minseok was completely erased from his mind along with the hospital confinement. Yixing would carry that with him forever but he didn't care. Baekhyun was happy and smiling again. Yixing snapped out of his thoughts as Baekhyun started to nibble on his neck. Yixing looked down at his arm. He could see his veins against his pale skin. The black veins were a bad sign. Yixing sat up.

"Fuck me on the couch," Baekhyun whispered. 

"I have to go out," Yixing said. Baekhyun pouted as Yixing pushed him off. He sat there watching the man hurry around the house. He grabbed his keys and left without another word. Yixing got into his car and sped into town. he stumbled up the stairs to his friend's apartment. Yixing barely made it to the door before he collapsed. Kyungsoo helped him inside. Chanyeol picked him up and brought him to the bedroom. Kyungsoo started cutting his shirt open. Black thick lines covered Yixing's chest and made their way up his neck.

"You idiot. I can't keep giving you this shot." Kyungsoo said stabbing him in the chest with the needle. Yixing gasped for air. The black lines disappeared. Yixing sat up.

"It's getting worse. You shouldn't have taken all of those bad memories. They will corrupt you. Yixing turn yourself in-"

"I can't let him go back there. You didn't see what he went through. I refuse to make Baekhyun experience that again." Yixing said grabbing the shirt Kyungsoo handed him. Kyungsoo shook his head.

"If the bad memories corrupt you, you'll do more damage to Baekhyun than anyone," Kyungsoo said. Yixing stared at the floor. Chanyeol came to the door. He moved aside revealing Baekhyun.

"Baek-"

"What's happening to you?" Baekhyun asked with tears in his eyes. Yixing sighed and Kyungsoo left the room so they could talk. Baekhyun stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed.

"What is Kyungsoo talking about?" Baekhyun asked.

"You shouldn't have followed me," Yixing said trying to stand. Baekhyun helped him sit back down.

"Tell me the truth. What's going on?' Baekhyun asked sitting down. Yixing laid down and threw his arm over his face.

"I took bad memories from you. It was more than I should have. Your bad memories are corrupting my spirit." Yixing explained.

"Give them back. I don't-"

"No," Yixing said sitting up.

"It's harming you. Yixing let me-"

"I said no! You can't remember the person you were but I can. I can vividly remember everything you went through. The anger, pain, loneliness. I feel it 10x over. I will not give them back to you. Baekhyun, I had to watch you suffer for months. I will not let you go back to that place. Just let me carry it on my own," Yixing shouted. Baekhyun closed his mouth. He put his head down. Yixing sat up and pulled Baekhyun into a hug.

"It's killing you. I don't want to lose you," Baekhyun said holding him.

"You won't lose me. I promise," Yixing said kissing his forehead. The couple returned home with medicine for Yixing. Kyungsoo explained to Baekhyun how to administrate the drug and when it was needed. Yixing didn't want Baekhyun to worry about him. He could handle this. One night, Yixing woke up sweating and screaming. Baekhyun tried to calm him down but Yixing wasn't fully awake. He was stuck in a nightmare. Baekhyun held him for hours until he stopped shaking. He sat up all night watching over Yixing who continued to whimper in his sleep. Baekhyun couldn't remember a thing about his horrible pasts. He was grateful but at the same time, his heart was breaking for Yixing. The nightmares got worse as time went on. Sometimes Yixing would get triggered and break down. Baekhyun was in pain. They couldn't continue like this. So he snuck off to meet with Kyungsoo.

"I need to make it stop," Baekhyun said staring at his coffee cup. Kyungsoo took a sip of his drink.

"Yixing won't let you take them back," Kyungsoo said.

"There has to be a way for this to be reversed," Baekhyun said.

"I can take away some memories and try to put it back but have you talked to Yixing about them. Do you understand what you went through?" Kyungsoo said. Baekhyun chewed on his lip. He had an idea from Yixing's constant night terrors.

"Some hurt me badly," Baekhyun replied.

"Physically, emotionally, and mentally. You were turned into a shell. Empty. And then you were thrown into a place that made things worse. Are you sure you're going to be able to handle going back to that?" Kyungsoo asked. Baekhyun nodded. Yixing helped him so it was only right that Baekhyun helps him in return. Kyungsoo told Baekhyun to leave the door unlocked that night. Baekhyun and Yixing made love like they did every night and cuddled into bed. The clock struck 2 am and Kyungsoo appeared. He placed a hand on Yixing's temple and Baekhyun's temple. The next morning, Yixing was up making breakfast. Baekhyun came downstairs and sat there eating quietly.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Yixing asked kissing his head. Baekhyun gave him a half smile but Yixing saw through it. Pain. The pain had returned to Baekhyun's eyes.

"Why did you-why did you do that!" Yixing shouted. Baekhyun grabbed Yixing's wrists. He stopped him from trying to take it back. Baekhyun kissed his palms.

"I'm okay. This is okay. I need these memories. It's a part of me. I'm stronger, Yixing. Thanks to you I found the voice he took away from me. I can go on each day knowing that I'm still here going on without him. I would hate myself if I let you take this on all by yourself. You've been my angel since I was a child. You always protected me. I remember everything. It's always been you. I don't want to go on in this world trapped in a dark place. I will clean myself of the wounds he left. I will move forward because I have you," Baekhyun said taking Yixing's hands.

"It's time for me to be your angel," Baekhyun whispered against Yixing's lips. Yixing held him tight. Baekhyun smiled into the kiss. From that day forward, they moved on from the past a day at a time. With help from Kyungsoo's influence, Baekhyun's charges were dropped and the truth came out about Minseok. It was hard for Baekhyun to go back into the real world. He enjoyed his quiet life with Yixing away from the loud city life. Baekhyun decided to go to therapy once a week. He wasn't completely free of his past but he was working on himself with the help of his loving angel. The road to healing was far for both of them. Yixing only blamed himself for Baekhyun's fate and Baekhyun needed Yixing to understand that it wasn't his fault. You can't help who you fall in love with. Baekhyun sat at the window smiling just as his husband scooped him up and kissed his face.

"You'll mess up my painting," Baekhyun said giggling. Yixing put him down and looked at the picture. It was a perfect replica of their garden but sitting in the center was an angel with large golden wings. Yixing kissed Baekhyun's cheek. He turned him around so he could see the smile that brought him happiness. Baekhyun smiled brightly just as the golden wings made their appearance. Yixing and Baekhyun's love story was told all through heaven. Because of them, the law against humans and angels being together was thrown out. One of the higher-ups even started writing a book about them. Yixing pulled Baekhyun to the bed. Time can heal wounds but love is the medicine that can erase the scars.

 


End file.
